The Diary of a Dick

As you all know, The Diary of a Dick by Richard Smith is the 4th book by author Phil Woods, and it was decided that we would give it away...

Yay! Credit card has arrived! Two grand limit. I’m gonna spend the whole lot and the wife is getting nothing. Silly bitch didn’t even get...

I'm writing at 1am and I’m thoroughly stressed. I’d have been better off sleeping in the police cells. The knob heads two doors down from...

GOT TO THE POST FIRST BUT STILL NO CREDIT CARD. I’m going to town today on my own, so I have to take the bus as I still don’t have a car....

My wife beat me to the post today, I hope the credit card didn’t come. It didn’t come, thank goodness. Instead we got a council tax...

WHERE THE HELL IS MY CREDIT CARD. Whoopy do, it’s shopping day. Just as well I’ve got my Prozac. Only kidding. My wife made me promise...

STILL NO CREDIT CARD. Today I started to look for a new car. Well, I say new, what I really mean is old but new to me. I went to the...

STILL NO CREDIT CARD. I had to go to the bank today to sort out a direct debit that had been taken in error. How the hell does a company...

NO CREDIT CARD TODAY. Today I’m back at work. Oh, how wonderful. I suppose one way of looking at it is that I don’t have to go shopping...

This morning I waited for the post for my credit card, more in blind hope than expectation as the website said 7-10 days. It didn’t come,...

My New Year’s resolution has failed already. I went outside to have a cigarette and realised that my resolution had lasted for the period...

It’s the last day of 2013. People tend to stay up until midnight to bring in the new year. There’s fireworks, alcohol and hugging people...

Two days to go until 2014, World Cup year. England will be hoping again and in a few months flags will be hanging from cars, then we’ll...

Breakfast Work Frozen Meal Bed Shit Day

The rush is on! Today the shops are packed with people, as they will be for the next three days. People pack their trolleys with enough...

Christmas is over for another year and now it’s the lead up to New Year’s Eve. Today I woke up in a bad mood; some might say I got out of...

Boxing day today, another excuse for family to come round. Today is usually reserved for the remainder of the family; those who are not...

It’s Christmas again. That day that everyone says comes quicker and quicker every year, only it doesn’t, does it? In fact, every four...

This introduction was written by Richard Smith himself. Don't forget that the first of his daily diary entries will be online from Monday...