My New Year’s resolution has failed already. I went outside to have a cigarette and realised that my resolution had lasted for the period of time that I was asleep. Oh well, I’ll give up next year.
Today for the first time this year someone thought it would be funny to say “Not long until Christmas”. How often do these people want to inform me of this? How long do they think this will stay funny? They really don’t have a clue, do they? Get a new joke, for fuck’s sake!
I’ve been writing this diary for two years now: 2013 and 2014. OK, strictly speaking it’s not two years, but I’ve lasted longer than my wife expected me to, so that’s one over on her already this year. I pointed this out to her and she said, “It’s only been a week”. As usual, the glass is half empty from my loving, yet pessimistic, wife.
This year I want to go on holiday. I missed out last year because, quite frankly, I didn’t have enough money. I brought the subject up and again money became the stumbling block. Anyway, I decided to go on the internet and try to find a way round it. I ordered a credit card. Now this isn’t easy for me as I have a bad credit rating, however these days there seems to be a separate industry for people with bad credit. I found a card company which accepted me, nice and cheap, just 48% APR, cheeky thieving arse holes. Nevertheless, I am getting it and will book a holiday when it arrives. I haven’t told my wife though. I daren’t! But when I have booked the holiday I’ll tell her and use the excuse that it was a surprise just for her. Hopefully that’ll help me get away with it.
I went for a walk this afternoon and noticed fireworks all over the road. Someone must have had a huge party last night. I’d kind of guessed anyway, with all the noise that kept me up until the small hours (what the hell are small hours?). I still don’t understand why people use fireworks. What a waste of money, they’re rubbish.
I went to bed early tonight as I was shattered after last night. The neighbors kept me up until 4am. I did try to get some sexy time with my wife tonight but had no luck. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow. It’s been three weeks since I had any. A man needs what a man needs. Goodnight.