STILL NO CREDIT CARD.
Today I started to look for a new car. Well, I say new, what I really mean is old but new to me. I went to the newsagent’s to buy Auto Trader, and the newsagent said, “Ooh, buying a new car, are you?” I replied, “No, I’ve run out of toilet paper”. Sarcastically, of course. It never ceases to amaze me how people state the bleeding obvious all the time.
I started to look at the adverts and was finding them hilarious. My wife asked why I was laughing so I pointed one of them out to my wife. The advert said ‘Lady Owner’. I have to ask why people put that in the advert. What difference does it make? You never see an advert saying ‘Gentleman Owner’. Is the phrase ‘lady owner’ meant to impress me that it’s been owned by someone who knows nothing about cars and hasn’t maintained it properly because she doesn’t know where the oil and water go? Does it mean they didn’t choose the car on its merits in the first place, instead probably choosing it because of its colour? Or maybe it means it’s always been driven slowly, which is only because she drives while putting her makeup on and it’s hard to drive fast while looking in the mirror. That doesn’t fill me with confidence, so why put it in the advert in the first place? Needless to say, my wife wasn’t amused. She said I’m sexist. I’m not, I just tell the truth. The other thing that pisses me off about car adverts is all the abbreviations. I saw a car I fancied but the only information I had was that it had FSH, EW, PS, HS, EM, MOT and TAX. Now I know the last two and can work out the rest but why should I have to? If you want me to buy your car then make it easy for me or I’ll skip your advert.
I finally found one I liked and phoned up. “Is it OK if I come and view your car please?” The reply I got was, “Sorry, it’s not for sale”. I replied, “Why the hell is it for sale in Auto Trader then?” He said he was going to sell it but changed his mind. I said “That’s stupid and a total waste of time and my phone bill. Are you gonna pay for this call?” Funny thing is the phone was put down very quickly. I was already fed up so gave up for the day. I’ll start again tomorrow.
My wife informs me that we’re going shopping for food tomorrow. Oh joy of joys. I’ll not go to bed too early, or tomorrow will come too early.